Mental, Physical, or...
Hi everyone, new posting here.
I guess my question might be multi-layered, so here goes:
For as long as I can remember I've masturbated..I'm 35 and it's been oh, 20 years at least. My problem is that I never really got into using any lube, which obviously might be a bad thing. When I have used a lube or even saliva when I masturbated, I lost my erection. Not good. Would it be a good idea to incorporate lube when I masterbate to help alleviate that problem?
Also, when I'm with a woman, the problem of keeping my erection creeps up as well. I think mentally all the years of being out of shape (I'm 6'5" and used to weigh over 400 pounds but have lost a lot of that weight) and not having a steady woman in my life, I turned to masturbating (bad, I know) and my penis, for a lack of a better term, is used to that feeling and when someone I truly would love to please comes along and it's soft for her because her touch or hands aren't what it's used, she feels like it's her fault. This has happened way too much and I'm just trying to figure out ways to help myself in this regards. Whether it's having to keep "stroking" myself before intercourse or not thinking, has anyone else (who has lost a lot of weight too that is) had that problem? What did you do about it?
Physically, I do get the normal erections and night and can achieve them, so I don't believe that's the bad part. It is more mental for me I think and I would love to be able to be considered "healthy" or normal when it comes to pleasing a woman sexually.
Thanks in advance for any ideas, thoughts on this.
Well, I'm not on any medication, no illnesses or injuries...I guess the biggest thing is that I'm probably too used to "manually" stimulating myself, especially with porn. I think it's bad enought that I might be used to it...
Ok, first of all, be aware that men peak sexually in the early 20s, when testosterone levels are highest. As you age, testosterone levels naturally drop. Testosterone plays a vital role in achieving erection. As you get older the following happens:
1. It takes longer to get an erection.
2. You'll lose your erection quicker during periods of no stimulation.
3. It takes more direct stimulation to get a full erection (as opposed to merely thinking about sex).
4. Depending on various factors, you may not be able to achieve 'rock hard' erection you had at age 19.
These are all perfectly natural developments. However, it's becoming known now among health specialists that a healthy diet and good exercise regime are beneficial to erection performance as you age. See the book "The Hardness Factor" by Dr. Steven Lamm.
As you mention, mental factors play a significant part. Read more about that in these posts:
http://www.infosex.com/forum/sudden-erection-loss
http://www.infosex.com/forum/cant-get-hard-her
Also, do you have any illnesses, injuries, depression etc?
Are you on any medication?