learning orgasm control
hi
i've had this problem of premature ejaculation for too long and am currently learning the pc muscle relax. i know that it will solve my problems as i've had sex a few times before where i was just totally relaxed and went for hours.
i just can't really reproduce this relaxeness by will.
at the moment my progress is about like this:
when i masturbate i try to relax the pc muscle but it is so hard. whenever i touch my dick it contracts, so i keep the touch and can adjust to it so i can relax again. now whatever movement i do with my hand it contracts again. i can deal with very tiny movements and keep relaxed, but if i enlarge the movements i can't really control it again, and when i stop i can compare to how it is supposed to feel like if it is totally relaxed.
this seems so hard. i feel like if i progress this way it takes me another 2 years.
so here my question: am i doing it right???
Thanks for the reply,
will try that meditation and breathing and write back soon as to how i progress.
thanks a lot, this site is great. before i read all this stuff i really wondered how tensing the pc should really hold back the ejaculation. now it makes all sense!
oh and by the way, i had talked with my girl about it. she is glad i'm actively trying to improve and supports me.
Ok well the most important thing you're doing right is that you've identified the problem, and you've realized a specific method to solve it.
Another thing you're doing right is practicing through masturbation - which is more effective.
Additionally, you've also had sex more than once where you lasted for hours - which is a major achievement.
It's like a switch was flipped inside your brain that allowed you to last for as long as you wanted.
Now you just have to learn how to flip that switch at will.
You need relaxation in many places - in your PC muscle, in your other body muscles (particularly legs, ass, hips), in your breathing, and perhaps most importantly, in your mind.
PC muscle relaxation will work for you - it's just a question of training your mind/body to coordinate the muscle to contract / relax at will. The PC is a voluntary muscle and you will be able to control it.
Ok let's try putting PC relax aside for a moment - we'll come back to it later.
At this point you might benefit from a different approach.
Try a few sessions with lots of deep, slow, relaxing breathing.
Then try some meditation - any form of meditation is beneficial - this will relax your whole body and your mind.
If you're nervous, stressed, worried, this will cause you to tense up - and cum quicker.
If you're calm, confident and stress free this will help you to relax - and last longer.
Meditation is a good way to do this.
Try some of the ideas on the Third Eye Focus page. But for you now, just try the meditation on its own (no masturbation or sex) for 30 minutes or so.
Do this for a couple of sessions with no masturbation.
Also don't forget to use slow breathing.
Then, later, do 30 mins of meditation, and then go back to your PC muscle relaxation exercises.
After some practice, you can keep the meditation going during masturbation practice and sex.
Best of luck and please write back in a week or so and let us know how it goes!