I feel guilty because i fake orgasm
Hi,
Okay, this is my problem... im an 18 year old female and have been having sex with my boyfriend for 3 years now... but i haven't ever reached orgasm. I feel guilty because i fake them and he has no idea. I can't bring myself to tell him after all this time...
I can have orgasms on my own but never when i'm with him, not even through oral sex or when he's rubbing my clit.
I don't know what's wrong with me.. I am very at ease around him and just don't understand why i never cum?!
Also, occasionally when he is rubbing my clit, i begin to tremble or shake, it is uncontrollable and not really a nice feeling, i feel like my clit is over-sensitive... i often ask him to stop touching me when this happens... why is it happening?! and why do i never reach the climax, what should i do?!
thanks for your help!
yours where's my orgasm
It can be very hard after faking for years to suddenly turn around and tell him that you're not orgasming with him. That might adversly affect your relationship so I wouldn't suggest telling him.
You don't have any physical problem because you can cum on your own. If your clit becomes over sensitive it probably means he is rubbing too hard, or the wrong part of your clit, or the wrong direction. This makes it difficult to get 'in the moment' and your clit becomes numb. It's likely that he just has the wrong technique for your clit. The only person that can correct him is you.
I suggest telling your boyfriend you'd like to try something new. Tell him you want to spend some time together with him just gently stroking your clit (after lots of foreplay!). In your mind, forget about orgasm. Forget about real orgasm, and fake orgasm. However, do concentrate on helping your boyfriend get the right technique. Put your hand onto his and guide his fingers into the right place, with the right pressure, speed and direction. If he goes wrong, put him back on course.
He will probably ask "why haven't you cum yet?", so just tell him you want to try something different.
Then relax and get lost in the moment, in the pleasure of having your clit touched. Don't focus on having an orgasm, real or fake. Just enjoy. Accept what comes.
In the long term, if you value your relationship, you really should tell him about faking orgasm, since honesty and trust really are important.
